July 1st an event happened to me that many of you good people would never understand.... My Partner... My Sweet Flower.... my Spanish Rose... My Boricua.... Passed away at home... Cute Words cannot explain how everyday my Heart is Breaking into pieces... my children are older, which btw is a blessing better than trying to explain WTF happened and I'm still waiting for answers....I may NEVER be happy with what I find out.... but when this happens... it's not their pain that makes it seem like no one loved them.... but the pain they leave behind.... It's a Jigsaw Puzzle of everything that made my wife of 26 years leave us this way... I don't think they wanted us to suffer more than we can bear.... It seems like God has had a Busy week.... my daughter's Ex-Boyfriend along with his Mother was murdered in their home by some Dirt-bags in an unrelated incident a WEEK after my ordeal....

I am awake but the dream, the lie, the illusion that we were fine was almost better than living without her anymore... in the end, there was no words, just emotion... louder than thunder and I can hear a pin drop.... now it is the silence that is deafening and almost too much to bear..... :

Checking out my "Adoptive son" He a grown man on a mission: [link]

signed, widowed at 47.... damn....